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Top ten reasons to own a snake

10) NO HAIR

You won’t be vacuuming floors, couches, stairs, curtains or anything else before company comes over.  There will be no need to tear your vacuum apart to get the gobs of hair out of the rotating brush.  Depending on how often you feed your snakes and how quickly they grow, they only shed once every few months.  As long as you have their habitat conditions correct, their shed comes off in one long piece, which is really neat to hang on to.  It’s kind of a way to capture how quickly they grow, similar to marking the date and height of your child as they grow on the door jam or wall in their room.

Since serpents lack hair, they don’t have dander, which brings me to my next point…

9) HYPOALLERGENIC

Snakes are hypoallergenic.  You won’t have to worry about friends and co-workers not attending your get togethers due to allergies.  Snakes don’t put off dander, so there’s nothing floating around in the air that will send your boss into a sneezing rampage.  Now, this isn’t to say they won’t be afraid to come over.  The vast majority of people are terrified of snakes for no good reason.  Snakes have been demonized by the media and even religions.  If you have people that are worried about visiting your abode do to your no legged reptile, then just assure them that they cannot get out of their tank and/or you can temporarily move them to a private room in the house.  I’ve had to do that before during an engagement party.  You’ll often find that the people terrified of them will become curious and see what the fuss is all about when people flock to your bedroom to check out your collection.

8) NO OR LOW-COST VET BILLS

It’s not very often that you will need to take your pet snake to the veterinarian.  There are rare exceptions like:

  • Snake gets bitten by rat / Infection
  • Prolapsed hemipene
  • Parasites
  • Respiratory Infection, (you can hear it wheezing or see bubbles on its nostrils)
  • Burns, (usually from sitting on a hot spot with improper temperature regulation)

You can avoid all of the things above with proper care and you’ll never have to make that visit.  In the unfortunate event that you do have to bring your reptile to the vet, it usually won’t cost you an arm and a leg.  Cost is number seven on the list.

7) INEXPENSIVE

Kahl - Moonglow Boa

Kahl – Moonglow Boa

Allow me to preface this by saying you CAN spend a ton of money on snakes.  There are some that are several thousand dollars depending on their genetic make-up and where you acquire them.  The moonglow pictured to the right for example. At the time of writing this article, it costs $1,175.00 USD, shipped. However, the average cost of a snake, (BCI, Dumerils, etc…) is under $100.  If you start diving in hypos or brazilian rainbows, then you’re looking around $200.  I will also say that the market is becoming saturated with these common color morphs and phases.  This is excellent for the consumer because the cost is constantly dropping.

As far as food goes, buying two to four rats a month at an average of three bucks a pop is far cheaper than buying dog or cat food, treats, chew toys and other miscellaneous items like puddle pads.

6) LOW MAINTENANCE

You won’t have to give attention to you snake every day.  In fact, most of the time they prefer to be left alone.  They don’t move around a whole lot, therefore not expending much energy.  This is the reason why you only need to feed them between one and four times a month.  Same goes with clean up.  The more you feed them, the more poop they’ll have, but is usually parallel to the amount of feedings.  You need to potty train them and clean up is easy.  If you’re using an aspen based substrate, you can spot clean the tank when you notice feces in it with one paper towel.  You’ll only need to change the aspen out around once a month or less. Other than filling up their water bowl once a week, you’re golden.

Other animals require much more attention like taking them for a walk or to the dog park once a day, letting them outside to do their business, giving them baths, changing litter boxes frequently, filling up food and water dishes a couple times per day, and cleaning up their messes.  This is on par with reason number five.

5) NON-DESTRUCTIVE

Cats will use your leather couch as a scratching post.  Dogs will track mud all in your house, dig through the garbage can and use your dress shoes as chew toys.  Rabbits will gnaw straight through your power cords without fear.  You won’t need to worry about any of that stuff with snakes.  They will be perfectly content sitting alone, quietly in their tank.

4) QUIET

Keeping on pace with the comparison and contrast; snakes make no noise unless they are hissing, which is extraordinarily rare in captivity unless you really piss them off or hurt them.  I can’t tell you how many time’s I’ve fallen asleep at my girlfriends house, only to be woken up at 2 in the morning to her cat hacking up a lung hairball or meowing just to psychologically tear me down.  Dogs bark at odd hours of the night too.  It’s great if you have intruders.  Not so great when that intruder is a raccoon aimlessly walking through your backyard.  Birds.  Oh man.  I could say so much about birds driving me crazy, but I’ll spare you.  I will add in that with a trip to my grandmother’s house for ten minutes, and I’ll be humming the Andy Griffith theme song for days.

3) NO BOARDING NECESSARY

Want to go on vacation?  Great!  If you’re taking a week or two long trip to the Caribbean, you won’t need a sitter.  You may want to have a neighbor check on them once a week just to make sure their heaters are still functioning and they have water, but that’s it.  No expensive boarding fees and no need to bother friends with your furry animals.

2) TEMPERAMENT

Boas and pythons have the best temperaments when it comes to snakes.  They like to explore, not bite.  There are right ways and wrong ways to hold a snake.  For the most part, it’s best to just let them climb all over you.  No matter how bad my day has been, when I let my boas climb all over me and tickle my neck or what have you, it’s an instant stress relief.  It’s as if they are absorbing all the negativity from the day.

You won’t be presented with a court summons because your snake bit a girl riding her bicycle on the sidewalk in front of your home.  There are two reasons snakes bite: fear, and hunger.  The mailman will pose as no threat to your snake.

1) BOA CONSTRICTORS ARE BEAUTIFUL

IMG_1387 (1280x853)Obviously this is a tad bit subjective, but I don’t know many people that will argue the point.  Boas come in vast array of colors and patterns.  Spend some time googling images of them and you’ll see.  I mentioned a classified section for them in another article.  Browse around them and check out all the different morphs there are available.  you’ll agree that there is something for just about everyone.  Snakes are majestic creatures and it’s fascinating to just sit and watch them.  Start studying the science behind them, like how they move and you’ll become more and more awed by them.

BONUS) OWNING A SNAKE MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A BADASS

Sure, ladies and dudes alike may fall in love with a cute little golden retriever puppy, but you introduce them to your pet boa and your intrigue level just shot through the roof.  Pop culture has associated snakes with the “bad boy” characters.  Either villain or hero, male or female, admit it.. when you see a character in a film that’s holding a snake, your mind jumps in and tell you, “Hey, watch out for that guy.. he means business!”

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One Comment

  1. Yo. You for got the mention that your like ten times less likely to get robbed when you own snakes lol :P

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